Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Going It Alone

Today I received the news that no pregnant military wife wants to hear: my husband will not be here when our baby is born.

My heart broke into a million pieces. It's bad enough that hubby is missing most of the doctors appointments that include ultrasounds and hearing our baby's heartbeat...but for him to not be here when the baby arrives is just killing me. I always knew that it was a possibility, but things were looking great for Derek being here in November when our baby will arrive. Now, sadly, my vision of the two of us welcoming our little boy or girl into the world together is shattered. Looks like I'll be going it alone.

I shouldn't say alone, because I won't be totally. My mom said she'd be out and be here, and I've got great friends who will be there for me in a second...but it certainly makes you feel alone when the one person who should be there can't.

I know that thousands upon thousands of Military wive have done this before, and I know it will be ok. Right now it's just heart wrenching though. I just have to remember to roll with the punches, and swing right back as hard as possible. When duty calls, the hubby has to serve...and when baby calls, well, I'll be doing the same.


  1. I will take month of nov. off if you need me! love u skeeter! i am always here for you!

  2. Val I'm so sorry to hear this! Don't worry though, everyone will be there cheering you on either from the room with you or from far away :) You'll make it through and when Derek gets home you will be able to introduce him to your beautiful baby boy or girl and that's all that really matters in the long run :)

  3. Have you found a doula yet? I'm sorry if your mom reads this and thinks I am being mean (I am sure that she is wonderful and lovely)...but some of the worst outcomes I have seen at births were the ones where mothers or mother-in-laws wanted to be the support person. Having a strong birth team that YOU feel totally uninhibited around is the key to having a good birth experience. Moms want to help you and don't want to see you suffer and therefore can get worried which is NOT something you want in your birthing space. (Gawd...i really don't mean to be a jerk about this! I know that you will make the best choice for you and not having Derek there will already be tough enough...seriously, if you come to PA for the birth, I will totally be there <3)