Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Military Realizations

Spending the day with a friend, who happens to be an Army wife as well, an interesting question was posed: what's it like to have your husband come home from work every day? What's it like to kiss him goodnight every night, wake up next to him every morning, and never wonder when the next time you'll get to share a meal again with be?

Having been raised in a civilian household, I grew up with both parents generally home together every night. I knew that my parents would sleep in the same bed every night, kiss eachother goodbye every morning, and know that they'd see eachother at the end of each day. However, now that I'm a Military wife, though I witnessed "normality" growing up...I still really don't have any idea what that's like because I don't get to experience that kind of marriage for myself. I don't start every morning off kissing my husband goodbye, get to cook dinner each night knowing he'll be there to share the meal, and I often go to bed alone blowing my husband a goodnight kiss over the phone. As far as Military marriages go this is pretty standard...but I'm still awfully curious as to what it's like on the other end. I may have grown up in a civilian world, but I certainly didn't marry into it.

This lead me to another set of questions and a slightly harsh reality. Me not quite knowing what it's like to see my husband ever day applies to my kids too...they will be growing up in a world where daddy won't always be home, and we won't always know when exactly he'll be back. I will be raising a family, often playing the role of both parents in my husband's absences, and facing the obstacle of making sure that my children understand that daddy's job is important, the way that I understand it. I face teaching my babies that we need to support him. I face having to make sure that my kids don't hurt in his absence, but miss him just enough to know when he's gone and look forward to him coming home.

While I know that tons of kids around the country are products of the same Military lifestyle that I will have to raise my own kids in, it still leaves me left with so many questions as we begin the journey of having a family. How do I handle all of it, and how do I help my children handle it? How will they deal with daddy leaving and coming home? Will they recognize the difference between them and civilian kids? Will they resent my husband and I for the fact that they will be different than civilian kids? Will they appreciate what their daddy does for our country, and realize that their effort in supporting their daddy is just as important?

I'm coming to the realizations that we've got truly an adventure in front of us, raising a Military family. And while there are books upon books upon books about doing it all, I'm feeling like the best we can do is to roll with the punches, learn as we go, and love our family like crazy. We may face some quite different obstacles and adventures compared to the average civilian family, but we'll figure our own way, as many do.

1 comment:

  1. Great blog my friend. Hang in there. It can't be like this forever..... can it?