Thursday, July 7, 2011

Scary Dreams, Sleepless Nights

Sadly but surely, the insomnia I had been experiencing in my first trimester has once again returned with a vengeance. On top of the fact that I'm up every few hours to pee, I'm now wide awake every other few hours just for the heck of it, apparently. It's really not fun.

And on top of that, I experienced something that no one ever forewarned me about...but apparently is normal in pregnancy: the worst nightmares I've ever experienced in my life.

No less that three or four times last night did I wake up to find myself panicking, panting, grabbing my belly or holding tightly to my husband...having awoken from the most frightening and ridiculous dreams ever. Dreams of myself holding the hand of a little toddler girl (a premonition, perhaps?) and somehow losing her in a different way each dream. The worst of which was like cheesy soap-opera...yet so scary I don't think I really want to share the details.

The final time I awoke from one of those dreams, I was grateful that it was over...and grateful that my little tiny baby must have sensed that I was freaked out because he or she seemed to be giving me reassuring little kicks to let me know everything is fine.

It's a terribly frightening thing, to dream about losing a child in any way. It was like watching some of my very worst fears coming true...and that made for an awfully rough night. The books say it's my motherly instinct kicking in and reminding me of just how much I love and want to protect my child. I say that I feel that way without needing reminding...especially in the form of these horrific nightmares!

The boogie man's got nothing on pregnancy dreams...

No comments:

Post a Comment