Sunday, August 21, 2011

A Baby Crap Explosion...And A Minor Freak Out

No, the explosion I'm talking about doesn't have to do with diapers...it's more or less the fact that my apartment has officially been taken over by the baby section of Target (pronounced Tar-Jay for those of you who like to be fancy). It looks like someone just dropped a big bomb of baby stuff and it exploded all over my home. I literally am a bit overwhelmed. Most of my baby registry has been bought up, and the UPS guy definitely knows us by name as the packages containing baby gifts keep coming. Not that I'm not grateful, because I certainly am. It's all things we will need for this peanut and I'm beyond thankful to receive it...I just don't think I was mentally prepared for my life to become one with less wine drinking at the neighbor's watching Sex and the City...and more milk drinking on my couch while reading pregnancy books...

Yesterday we took a trip to Target to buy a few things with gift cards we received at my shower. It was a good time, picking out things for the baby....I picked up some classic books that I think every kid should have (hello, Shel Silverstein books), we grabbed some basic onesies to get us started and a really cool bottle drying rack that looks like grass. It really was fun....and then I had a minor freak out.

It really is starting to hit me how quickly my pregnancy is going...and how soon our little one will be here. Tomorrow I am 29 weeks, which means that at some point within the next 11 weeks (or more if the baby decides) I'm going to be meeting the little person who's been growing inside of me. Sometime soon, I'm going to look my baby in the eyes...and really be a mommy. And while it's a totally amazing and beautiful thing...it's also pretty scary. I know I'm ready for it...but am I ready for it???

On top of the terrifying realization yesterday about how soon things are going to be happening, I also hit a low point on the "I feel giant and am tired of hearing it, seeing it, and dealing with it" scale. Derek and I went to lunch yesterday, and we were seated at a booth. As Derek is telling me how cute he thinks my belly is (what a guy, right?), I discover that restaurant booths are not meant for 7-month-pregger women. It was a depressing moment, realizing that I don't really fit into a booth right now. I know, I know. It's because I'm pregnant and it happens to lots of women...but it's not really a fantastic confidence booster when you're already feeling awkward, big, itchy and like an oversized duck with a waddle.

Sigh. Here's hoping for a happier, less terrifying and more self-confident day today...

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