Friday, September 30, 2011

Those Crazy Pregnancy Dreams

I've decided that pregnancy is easily the time in my life when my dreams have been so out of whack it amazes me. And I've decided that the dreams I've had at each stage of my pregnancy have reflected how I'm feeling in one way or another...

When I was first pregnant, my dreams were so outrageous and so crazed that I couldn't even verbalize what I was witnessing in my sleep. And the more I thought about it, the more it seemed just right that those were the types of dreams I was experiencing because that's how I was literally feeling in life as well. My dreams were way out of sorts, and so was I, both physically and mentally. My emotions were all over the place, my body was taking this new experience and sending itself off the charts with things like insomnia (which, prior to pregnancy, I was the soundest sleeper ever) and morning (but really at night) sickness. It only made sense that as I was feeling like an out-of-whack crazy person, my dreams would reflect the same.

In my second trimester, as my craziness turned into being excited about the baby...but being very, very nervous about becoming a parent, my dreams again began to reflect my feelings. My once odd dreams suddenly became the most horrific nightmares I've ever experienced. Not because of monsters or murderers, but because I was seeing in my sleep my fears of parenting come true: the idea of losing a child without any control over the situation, the idea of losing my husband and feeling as though I couldn't be a parent anymore (which, I know would NEVER ever be the case), and worse. It made for some rough nights, that's for certain. And I was beyond grateful when those dreams ended.

Now that I'm about six weeks away from my due date, I'm finding that my dreams are reflecting my anxiousness and desire to have this baby. I keep dreaming about labor. Nothing else, just labor, in one form or another. It's funny because they're not dreams that scare me or wake me and make me think "this is not really going to happen, I can't do it"....they're dreams that almost disappoint me when I wake because they aren't really happening (minus the dream from last week where I was in labor, couldn't eat anything, and all of these visitors showed up to the delivery room with big pots of spaghetti and started chowing down in front of me while I'm trying to push out this baby). Like last night's for example...shortly before I woke up I had a dream that I had one big contraction and then my water broke. Imagine my disappointment when I opened my eyes and saw no such thing. And for the record, no, I'm not sad that I'm not in labor or close yet...obviously I know that this little nugget still has a few weeks of baking left....I'm more disappointed that I've still got that long to wait and see who's in there, and that I've got that long before I can hold, hug, kiss and share my little love.

Now, my curiosity turns to what my dreams will be about after the baby finally arrives....

No comments:

Post a Comment