Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Am I Supposed to Be Scared?

It's funny, the closer I get to my due date, the more non-chalant I'm finding my attitude towards labor to be. It's not that I'm not a bit nervous, and it's not that I don't really care...it's just that I'm in a peaceful mindset of "what's going to happen is going to happen".

And apparently this surprises people.

I can't tell you how many times I've been asked "aren't you even a little scared of labor?" Um, no. Not really to be honest. It's funny because I'm normally such a planner and so uppity about things like this...but when it comes to going into labor and delivering my baby, I'm feeling anxious and yes, but very relaxed.

Don't get me wrong, I'm nervous alright...who wouldn't be? This is a totally foreign, new experience and I don't really know what to expect...and there isn't much someone can tell you to expect. I mean, can you truly explain what a contraction felt like? Can you truly describe the pain you experienced? Sure, there are the generic "it hurts like nothing you've ever felt before" and "contractions are like cramps...but different..." But what can you really tell another woman about labor? Not much, I wouldn't think, since everyone has a different experience.

And so I'm finding myself looking at labor and the birthing experience like this:
It's going to happen. This baby needs to enter the world and I have to help him or her get here safely, so what's the point in wasting time being scared out of my mind? I'd much rather go into the process with a clear mind, the understanding that this is something unknown to me so I want to play everything by ear, and a sense of relative calmness rather than stress. What's the point in stressing over giving birth? Unless someone legitimately tells me it's a time to worry, and gives me a good reason, I'd rather take my own approach.

It makes you wonder too, that if labor were as scary as some people make it seem to be...why would any one do it repeatedly? It's like a Freddy Kruger movie...if it scares you that much, do you watch it again? Probably not. But labor? Well, the human population is still thriving...so it can't be that horrific.

So no, dear curious cats, I'm not scared or terrified of labor. Am I supposed to be?

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

A Little Holy For Ya

I was raised in a big, Irish Catholic family...spent 8 years in Catholic school...even taught a few years of CCD. That's right, I'm a good Catholic girl. Who would've guess, right?

Well, today I'm sharing a little tid-bit of my Catholic-ness. Sometimes a little prayer never hurts, no matter what God or being you're saying it to...and sometimes when you're feeling like you need a little help, a little prayer is just what you need.

To give you some background, Saint Gerard is the Catholic patron saint of pregnancy and expectant mothers. It occurred to me that this past Sunday (October 16th) was his feast day...ironically it was a day I was feeling particularly uncomfortable and seriously wondering if the last few weeks of pregnancy were a cruel joke....

And so I found a little prayer to him. I felt needed to say it and, in my own beliefs, know that someone was listening. And now I want to share it...

"Saint Gerard, patron and protector of expectant mothers, intercessor before God and wonder-worker of our day, I pray to you now and seek your aid.

Help me to always do the will of God. Preserve me in the dangers of expectant motherhood, shield the child I bear now and let my baby be brought safely to the light of day."

It's short and simple...yet sometimes that's what you need to ground you and calm you. Sometimes a little faith, no matter which one you share, is the reminder you need to get you through unconventional times.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Less Than a Month...

But it still seems like forever to go. Sigh.

I think part of my discomfort during this trimester has been my own impatience. I think I'm making things worse on myself with how anxious I am to meet this baby. I've never been so impatient in my whole life! And trust me, I am normally a very patient person...I used to teach one and two-year-olds for crying out loud!

And now here I am, indecisive about what I want for lunch, feeling slightly agitated by the constant aching in my ribs from the tiny little feet that feel permanently planted there, and not able to understand why the weeks seem to go by sooooo slowly now.

And I know what you mommies will say: enjoy the time before the baby arrives.

I know, I get it. I do.

But I'm just so anxious to meet the sweet little baby I've been harvesting all this time that I can't help but feel ready to be done. I want to hold my baby, smell my baby, kiss hug and snuggle my baby. I just want to be a mommy to my baby!





And try really hard not to judge me, but I also can't wait for a glass of ice cold pinot grigio. I think by the end of this, I'll have earned it...

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

A Small Rant About Rude Men.

Let me first say this: not all men are rude and inconsiderate, but some really are. And when it's affects me or any other pregnant woman for that matter, it makes me really mad!

So here it is, my rant:

Dear Men Who Are Inconsiderate Jerks,

   The parking space you just took is marked "Expectant Mother", and while I'm ok with not getting that parking space for myself, there could be another pregnant woman who could have really used that parking spot. And you, Mr. Inconsiderate, just took that spot without warrant.

   Did you think about the possibility that some woman might have a baby sitting on her sciatic nerve (like me) and that it may be very painful for her to have to walk through a parking lot because you took the close space that was designated for her? Did the idea cross your mind that there may be a preggo who is running errands with little kids, and that the safest place for her to park is that "Expectant Mother" spot so that she only has a little bit of parking lot to chase her young children through? Or what about the woman who has been placed on bedrest or something similar, and just needed to run into the store to get some milk because no one was around to help her? No. You probably didn't think of any of that. You just figured that no one would notice that you, a man, parked in a spot meant for pregnant women.

   Are you a seahorse, Mr. Man? Or have you suddenly developed the ability to carry a child for any number of months, and then give birth? Because seahorses are one of the only species in which the male carries the babies. So unless you're pretty and living in the sea or Arnold Schwarzenegger in Junior, get your butt out of that parking space! You're not doing anything to deserve it....but I promise you, that waddling pregnant woman who didn't get that spot because you were in it certainly does deserve it.

Thanks for listening,
Love,
Me.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Oh Hey October...

It occurred to me on Saturday: It's October. Next month is November. I'm having a baby next month.

Holy Cow.

Funnily enough, the holy cow isn't because I feel like it's coming too quickly and I'm not ready....it's because it's coming up fast and I am so excited. I can't believe how fast the time up until now has gone by...and how many changes I've endured these past 8 1/2 months thus far. I look back at how freaked out I was finding out I was pregnant...and how "not ready" I  thought I was. And now here I am, sitting in what is almost finished as our baby cave (half man cave, half nursery....gotta work with the space you have!), so ready to meet the little person inside me. I keep wondering if it's a girl or boy (though vibes are telling me boy now), how big he or she will be, what he or she will look like....I can't help but be so anxious for the day to come when the baby decides to make an entrance into the world. I can't help but realize how, actually, I really am ready.

And to be honest, labor isn't scaring me anymore either. While I'm not looking forward to the pain that I'm somewhat expecting to be in (though I'm told you can never truly expect what labor pain is until you've had it), I am looking forward to the experience of bringing my sweet little baby into this world. I am looking forward to the first few moments of gazing into my baby's eyes, and watching my husband lovingly hold our new bundle of joy. I'm looking forward to smelling that sweet, undeniable smell of a brand new baby...and really enjoying the fact that the brand new baby is mine.

Pregnancy has certainly had it's ups and downs...and in the next few weeks I'm anticipating many more (heck, I'm anticipating more in the next few hours. Let's be honest), but more and more these days I'm coming to appreciate all that I'm working towards with these ups and downs...and I'm anxiously awaiting the day when I get to really reap the reward.