Thursday, January 23, 2014

Holding On

I'm sure I'm not alone in this...

Tonight Conner, who had downright refused a nap today, was so pooped out by the end of the night that, in a rare moment, decided to grab his blankies, climb on me and fall asleep.

These are rare moments indeed...the kid is so active that most mornings, afternoons and evenings he can be found running laps around the kitchen and dining room. So for him to willingly snuggle and fall asleep on me has become a moment that comes few and far between.

And so I find myself not wanting those moments to end. Desperately clinging to the feeling of his head on my chest, the sweet smell of his baby shampoo in my nose and the warmth of a snuggly toddler cuddled on his momma. I constantly try to live so deeply in those moments...I just want to hold onto them forever because I know that the day will come when my baby boy doesn't want to snuggle with me when he's tired. There will come a day that he won't need me to lay his head down on.

It reminds me of when I was a little girl. My dad used to tease us that he was going to take us to the doctor and tell her to make us little babies again so we couldn't grow up any more. I used to think he was being silly. Now, as a parent myself, I realize that while he was teasing us at the time, he likely wasn't kidding so much. Children seem to grow so quickly...time flies by too fast. Truly, what I wouldn't give to keep Conner this little forever (even though I still fully look forward to continuing to watch him grow into the incredible person he is destined to be).

And so in an effort to hold onto such moments forever, and living in the age of smartphones and instant pictures, I always grab my phone and take a snapshot. Those pictures of my sleeping, sweet little boy are such sweet reminders of those rare, special moments...and my perfect little way of holding on.

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